Hold on a minute.
I have read and written words to this effect many times —
and many times have I failed to think about the meaning. If you like beer and
write about it and occasionally read about it then I wonder if it gets too easy to
imbibe the words and phrases without thinking too much about them. ‘Long drink’
always sounds so trade and industry and clunky, as if it were designed for the
sort of magazine that tries to make cement mixers sexy (Cement Mixer World
perhaps). It’s a set of words carelessly used, bandied about like business
cards at a convention, dumped from a great height, shattered and then
reconstituted into sentences, lazily used, like a desultory swipe of the hand
against a fly on a hot, draining summer’s day. I know because I do this time
and time again.
And yet beer is my favourite drink after water and the only
alcoholic beverage that I regularly drink (occasional red wine, a one-off in
autumn, and some cider and that’s it). So as Lenin wrote: what to do?
First of all: I asked myself the question — what do I like
about beer? Sat and pondered, looked out of the window, took a sip of a beer
(Young’s Special London, which I had in a glass for the first time in ages and
thoroughly enjoyed), rolled it around my mouth, enjoyed its bitterness and the
weight of the alcohol (6.4%), inevitably wishing I had bought more. And so
first of all I thought: I like beer because of its versatility. It’s a beer
that I can make vanish down my throat with the minimum of fuss, perhaps when
I’m hot, thirsty or just enjoying a wet, bittersweet, gently carbonated pint of
cask bitter (it could be Rambo-hopped or not, it depends on my mood and the
surroundings in which I stand or sit) or a brisk yet swoon-like swallow of the
best světlý ležák. On the other hand I
also like beer because it can sit alongside me like a faithful hound, a pat on
the domed, noble head now and again translated into a sip or even a swig, a
beer that keeps company with whatever book I am reading (currently Now All
Roads Lead to France). Barley wine perhaps, or a beer that has gone through the
valley of the shadows and been reborn into something else.
Secondly, I grew up drinking beer: Holsten Pils, Stones Keg
top, Greene King IPA, more Holsten Pils. You could say that I got used to the
relative sweetness of beer (as opposed to wine’s acidity); I got used to large
pint glasses; I got used to drinking in pubs rather than bars (I remember
feeling rather lost in Soho’s French House in 1983 — the only beer they had was
a small bottle of Carlsberg, unchilled). So there’s a cultural aspect to beer
for me: it has framed the sociability of most of my adult life (though
cocktails in the early 80s and wine during my periods in France ran it quite
close). I’ve gone through the whole wine-makes-me-posh phrase back in the 1990s
and I still enjoy a glass of good French wine, but I don’t feel like I’m
missing out.
Thirdly, why do I like beer? Or do I love it? Love sounds
peculiar, but then as well as loving our wives/husbands, children, parents and
pets, we love goals/tries scored by favourite players, a piece of music, a
dish, a view, a feeling, a bodily sensation. So I suppose we can say that we
love beer. So why do I love beer? Maybe it’s a habit; in the same way I like a cup
of tea in the morning or a bacon sandwich on a Saturday morning. Nothing wrong
there. I also like the buzz, the lift that alcohol gives, the loosening of
thought, the quickening of speech in which I often imagine words to be like
seagulls riding the winds above the changing tide, the visual stimulus and the
hit of adrenalin (something similar I get from physical activity).
Fourthly, I like the flavour, love the flavour, something
that links to the sense of bittersweetness that has been with me since my
mid-20s when I started to drink beer slowly without pulling a face. In all of
the varieties of beers that I drink there are elements of sweetness, dryness, bitterness, fatness, a moussec-like mouth feel, acidity, harmony, integration; the sense of an orchestra seamlessly sliding into a
Schubertian symphony, only in the mouth rather on stage. It is pleasure, it is
joy, it is uplifting, it is love, it is restful, it is engaging, it is
infuriating, it is mournful, it is as part of life as is roast duck, pad Thai,
paella, Yorkshire pudding, oyster tempura, the sight of a hillside wood sashaying in the
wind, the fierce spearing of heavy rain on secure roof tiles, an old book, a
smile from a loved one, a child’s laugh, a dog curled up on the lap, a city street
at dawn, Edward Thomas’ poems, Vaughn Williams’ London Symphony, the sound of a
Tornado flying over our valley. I could go on. It’s life. Beer as part of life?
Hmm, beer is life, not beer is my life, beer = life, beer/life.
(at this juncture I stared out of the window and watched
fluffy, mucky grey-white clouds spreading in from the west and thought about
nothing in general)
Beer. I don’t know. It’s very hard to sum up beer, which is
possibly another reason why I like/love/enjoy it. How about: Beer as one valuable,
beautiful and endearing part of this complicated system we endure that we call
life? Somehow I don’t think it will be on a poster somewhere near you.