I’m sorry Shepherd Neame. I like your beers but your bottle openers suck. Late night in a small hotel room in Bayswater, after an evening visiting several hostelries. Glyn from the Rake had given me a bottle of Kernel’s IPA earlier and I fancied it. I had one of Sheps’ beer openers because I was on my way to Orval the next day and having learnt from Chuck Cook in Baltimore that the nearest bar was closed, it was suggested that some cheese and Orval be brought from the souvenir shop and consumed al fresco. So I packed a Spitfire bottle opener, an item I have had problems with before. So in my room I opened or tried to open the IPA and the neck of the bottle opener broke. I got a micro-second of tinny martial music and loads of IPA went over my legs. Thanks Sheps. Hold on a minute though, let’s have a taste of Kernal IPA. Hello, I thought, is this Chicago or Portland rather than Borough where the brewery is based? It’s a thumper of a hop driven IPA with grapefruit and pine notes, and a big thick appetising bitterness that yomps all over the palate, Bergen and all. Great beer guys. Not so great bottle-opener Sheps.
Hmm, I won a crate of Spitfire recently, but it seems not that they can't ship a full crate to Germany (kind of ironic). However, I was told I'd still get a few bottles and some merchandise. I'm wondering if I have one of these bottle openers to look forward to :)
ReplyDeletethey really are appalling little trinkets, I’ve got loads and they are by far the worse, I’ve got a handy one from Adnams that also has a corkscrew and a sturdy one from Budvar with a wooden handle, on the other hand I remember a British Guild of Beer Writers dinner with openers shaped like large plastic bottle tops. Protzy had got them from CAMRA when it was noticed hours before the event started that there was nothing to open beer with.
ReplyDeleteI have got a Tetley bottle opener which is metal my Dad gave it to me when i was 19 and that was nearly 30 years ago the bottle opener will last for another 100 years.
ReplyDeletemy fave bottle opener is one i got from Phil lowry, its a vedett one and is basically just a big chunk of red metal. don't think it will be snapping any time soon.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous/Andy
ReplyDeleteAnother favourite is a solid Y-shaped one from Fullers (obviously the top of the Y is closed), it has a silver hallmark on it, lovely piece of metal. Then there is the small bottle-shaped one from Anchor, though looking at it I am reminded of a whale.
I've broken two of those Sheps bottle openers and they have successfully opened one beer. I've got another but the whir of the Spitfire is just annoying.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Kernel... I'd pull the cap off with my teeth to drink that, it's very good. did you have the Centennial or the Simcoe? The Porter is also excellent.
As for good bottle openers... I've got a cracking Orval one which is wooden and shaped like the bottle. Lovely.
Mark
ReplyDeletetwas Simcoe and Glyn also gave me a bottle of the porter, which is unopened at the moment. I was so impressed with the IPA.
The Centennial is a kick-ass ESB - I'm not sure it's really an IPA.
ReplyDeleteLet the discussion commence.
You want one of these babies, Adrian. Best bottle opener I've ever had! I presume this is what you're talking about, Mark?
ReplyDeleteMy favourite bottle opener at the moment is my Dungarvan Brewing Company one. Well, four. They sent me a load, so I have one in the cellar, one in the office, one in the kitchen and one in the living room. Handy keyring size.
ReplyDeleteMy prettiest, but probably most useless, is my Duvel one, which is solid-feeling stainless steel with the working part of it is shaped like a Duvel glass, so you can open the bottle using any edge of it. Hard to describe, and I can't find any pics of it online.
Re. bottle openers, I'm quite partial to my trusty Victorinox swiss army knife's large-screw-driver-cum-bottle-opener thingy. Will open both 26mm and 29mm crown caps, and any variations thereof without a hitch.
ReplyDeleteAlso have a few of those scattered around. Just realised, though, that I probably use a lighter or a beer crate to open bottles more than any other device during the summer months :D
ReplyDeleteI can totally vouch for The Kernel's beers. Every one a winner. Maybe its time they released their own IPA-proof opener? ;)
ReplyDeleteI think they're just engineered to self destruct if you open anything other that Sheps beer with 'em :p
ReplyDeleteOops, *than...
ReplyDeleteChris, yes the Orval one sounds brilliant, should have scrounged one when I was there last week
ReplyDeleteBarry I once had a box load of Cains’ ones left after a Beerwriters dinner I helped organise, think I gave them to my local CAMRA foir their raffle, Duvel one sounds complicated.
Laurent — always wary of carrying my Swiss Army knife outside Exmoor case I’m mistaken for a hoodie, but on the other hand they are also handy for taking stones out of horses hooves, try doing that with a Sheps bottle opener, in fact try opening a bottle with oine…
Danielski — hoping to get to Utobeer on Thursday so Kernel should be on my list
Ang — thank god the actual Spitfire plane wasn’t as flimsy as the bottle opener, history would have been different ;-)
Hmmm, so those sheps bottle openers are for decoration and noise pollution purposes only ?
ReplyDeleteGranted, whenever I travel outside Switzerland, I do swap my large knife with a locking blade* for a smaller one that does abide local legislation, so indeed I do understand that
* Swiss legislation on knives is quite strict, but nevertheless had a nice self-serving clause slipped in about swiss army knives not even being considered dangerous objects, whatever the size, or features such as locking blade of one-handed opening. Go figure.
Laurent I alwasy thought they were for use, but after last week’s experience I was so obviously wrong.
ReplyDeleteI've had the same bottle opener for about 15 years, maybe more. It's a basic metal opener with a Beck's logo on it. I don't even like Beck's but the opener has served me well. It must have opened thousands of bottles.
ReplyDeleteI used to keep it on my keyring, until eventually the inevitable happened: at a picnic in London I lent it to a friend to open a beer. Later, just before boarding the train to Glasgow, I realised I didn't have my house keys. Now I carry it separately.
Barm — haven’t had Beck’s for 6 years, was at a fete high up in the hills in northern Italy and they had a keg on, beer started flowing about 9am…
ReplyDelete